40. On Being Authentic
This last module in your journey to being authentic will show you how you can set your life priorities around what you truly want and live your life accordingly. You’ll see how to show your true self to the world and enjoy the results. Lastly, you’ll see how to create a compelling future that truly excites you.
This first lesson in the module gives you some tips on living authentically:
Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren’t acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a situation or were lacking the confidence to reveal who you truly are.
Whatever your reason, you chose to hide your real self. Personal concealment places us into an emotionally unhealthy cycle. First, we feel unsure of ourselves and this causes us to act even less authentic in the future. We may even begin to wonder, “Who am I?”
Rather than spending time hiding from the world, you’ll flourish by revealing your true self to others. Becoming more authentic in your interactions is definitely possible.
Commit to increasing your personal authenticity in these ways:
1. Monitor your feelings closely. When you know and understand your own emotions, you’ll be less likely to behave in ways that contrast with your feelings.
○ Mindfulness will help you tremendously in your quest to be more authentic.
○ Stay in the moment and consider what is going on in your world in the present.
2. Give yourself time. If something happens and you’re unsure of how to react or respond, it’s okay to not react at all. Allow yourself some moments to consider the situation.
○ If you feel pressure to respond, saying something like, “I’m not sure how to respond to that,” can be your best line of action until you’re more confident in your reaction.
3. Catch yourself being inauthentic. When you realize you’ve been less than honest in a given situation, it’s okay to say, “Wait a minute. I changed my mind,” or “Maybe I’m not as sure about this as I thought.”
○ Remind yourself that you have permission to alter your response to anyone and anything at any time. Then, choose a route that’s more in line with how you honestly feel.
4. Notice what situations prompt you to be disingenuous. Being insincere or untruthful each time you’re around your in-laws or your supervisor, for example, will reveal where your insecurities lie.
○ Do some self-reflection to determine why you’re behaving this way around that person or in that particular situation.
5. Be authentic with others to increase your level of confidence. The ability to be open and honest shows that you like and accept yourself and you’re self-assured. Avoid being afraid or too timid to show others who you really are. Self-confidence goes a long way!
6. Realize that others truly appreciate you when you’re authentic in behavior and comments. Think about how you feel when you’re with someone who’s consistently open with you. It feels comfortable and easy to be with someone you know you can trust. There’s no tension or guesswork involved.
○ If you keep this information in mind, you may find it a little easier to be authentic.
7. Show care and gentleness toward others. You might be thinking, “What’s the connection between being caring and being authentic?” If you go out of your way to be polite and kind to others, it will be a natural response to be authentic with them.
○ Once you realize that you hold their feelings in your hands, you’ll know it’s necessary to be gentle and honest with others.
When you expend a little bit of effort on relating to others truthfully and carefully, you’ll gradually find that you like yourself more. When you offer authenticity to others, it sets a wonderful example for those around you. The more authentic you are, the richer the life you’ll live.
In the next lesson, you’ll discover how to set your life priorities, so you can design your life around what you love most.
Here’s what you need to do today:
What situations tempt you to be insincere? Reflect on these situations. What can you do in these situations in the future to show your true feelings?
It is liberating to live life on my own terms.
Each day, I discover things that bring enrichment to me. I make up my own mind about what behaviors I engage in. I make choices about my attitudes throughout the day. Ultimately, I know the way I conduct myself physically and emotionally in this day determines how my life progresses.
I feel excitement about the power I have to determine my life. I am free to pay attention to whatever I wish to pay attention to. The options for what I do today lie within me.
My life is limitless. Only I set the goals and establish the limits for what I do each day.
If I experience feelings of being bound in, I stop for a moment and allow myself time to think through the issue. My goal at the moment is to determine what causes me to feel trapped. I then remind myself that I am the one in control of my life and find a solution to my challenge.
When I follow this plan, I regain feelings of liberation.
In a sense, my feelings of freedom are a paradox: I feel free because I live life the way I want and I live the way I want because I feel free.
Today, I know I can choose to do whatever feels important, positive, and relevant to my personal development. I am free to do whatever appeals to me each day.
1. What does it mean to live life on my own terms? Am I doing it?
2. Do I usually feel a sense of freedom and free choice about what I do each day?
3. How can I develop a strong sense of personal liberation to ensure I live life the way I want?