42. Dare to Be Yourself

Previously in this module, you set your life priorities and learned some strategies for living authentically. Now, we dare you to be yourself!

Are you comfortable being yourself in all situations? If you’re like most people, you’re 90% yourself when you’re with close friends, 50% yourself with casual acquaintances, and hide yourself from strangers. Being your true self in all settings and situations is scary, but ultimately empowering and relaxing. Imagine the relief you’ll experience.

You no longer have to worry about the perceptions of others. You can just be yourself and feel satisfied with that.

Be yourself and take back control of your life:

1.   Meditate. Meditation quiets the part of you that judges and labels everything around you. Gain some insight into the real you by meditating regularly.

2.   Tell the truth. When you’re truthful, you reveal yourself. Be honest about your mistakes and shortcomings.

3.   Be unique. The true you isn’t exactly like everyone else. What music do you listen to when you’re alone? How do you dress? Do you keep the unique parts to yourself or are you willing to share them with the world?

4.   Notice your crutches and get rid of them. Rocky road ice cream? Mindless internet surfing? A double vanilla café latte? Using crutches to deal with boredom, anxiety or uncertainty is blocking you from seeing the truth.

○     What is the purpose of a particular crutch? Stop using it and see for yourself.

5.   Examine the areas in your life that feel inauthentic. When and where do you feel like you’re lacking authenticity? Often it will be during interactions with strangers, first dates, new social experiences, and more formal occasions.

○     A lack of authenticity can also occur when you spend time with your parents and siblings. They just don’t seem to want you to change, so you fall back into your old roles.

○     Think about the times you’re inauthentic and ask yourself why.

6.   Spend your time on things you enjoy. What do you really enjoy? Do you play on the softball league so you’ll fit in? Would you rather be taking rumba lessons? Spend your free time on the things that you’re most passionate about.

7.   Do one thing you want to do but are afraid to try. The people at the office might laugh if you take up the cello or take an acting class. However, secretly, they’ll be jealous that you have the nerve to do something unconventional. Everyone you know is stifled and bored. You can rise above all of that.

8.   Give your opinion. Not necessarily all of the time, but give your opinion if it won’t hurt anyone. Going to see a movie with some friends? Tell them the movie you’d most like to see. The family wants to go to the public pool or the park? Let your opinion be known. Wife wants to know if she looks fat in her dress? Be smart.

9.   Get outside. An indoor environment is unnatural. The air is heated or cooled. The lighting is artificial. You can’t see the sun, hear the birds, or feel the grass beneath your feet. Get yourself into a more natural environment and you’ll find it easier to be authentic.

10. Strengthen your boundaries. Where your boundaries are weak, your true self is being smothered. These are the places we allow others to determine the rules and set the frame. You’ll know these places by the high amounts of energy they drain from you.

Overcome your need to fit in and impress others. No matter what you do, some people will be impressed and others won’t. Why worry about it? You’re an amazing person. Allow yourself to be that person each and every day.

Do you find it hard to be yourself? The next couple of lessons help you in this regard with some tips to help you reveal your true personality and express your true feelings to others.

Here’s what you need to do today:

Today, do one thing you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid to try!

AFFIRMATIONS

I can stand up for my beliefs in the face of opposition.

Even if I face opposition, I stand firm in my convictions and self-awareness. I know why I have the beliefs I do and why adhering to them is important to me. I am aware that a challenge only helps to prove whether or not my values are really true for me.

If others ever claim to know what is right for me, I remain strong enough to stay true to myself. I am assured that conviction leads to respect: respect of self, as well as respect from others. And as I increase my self-confidence, I am better able to trust others to act in accordance with their highest good.

My values are well thought out and are true to my highest vision of myself. They come from a place where I am deeply aware of what makes me happy. My beliefs are tied in to my conscience so they allow me to feel at peace at the end of each day.

I know that even in the most challenging circumstances, things can only get better if I stick to my convictions. Not standing for something means falling for anything, so I choose to stay firmly on my feet.

Today, I commit to owning and embracing my values, even in the face of opposition. I treat my intuition about right and wrong as I do anything that is dear to my heart. I stand strong and defend my beliefs because I know they come from an honest place.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. In what ways could entertaining opposition of my values serve as food for thought?

2. How much influence do my experiences have on my beliefs?

3. Do the convictions I learned from my family play a part in what I believe? Do those values serve me?

AFFIRMATIONS

My inner beauty shines brightly.

Like a beacon in the darkness, my inner beauty casts its illuminating glow throughout my world, lighting my path. Fueled by gratitude, generosity, positivity, and a passion for life, my beauty shines brighter each day as I strive to use my God-given talents as a force for good.

I feel gratitude for the good things in my life and express my appreciation throughout the day to those who would make my day a little brighter - to my spouse, my children, co-workers, and even the stranger on the street who opened a door for me.

I strive to be generous and share my blessings with others. Whether I share money with those less fortunate, the wisdom of my experiences with my children, or even a great joke I just thought of, sharing is a daily part of my life.

My positivity brings me motivation and enables me to seek solutions for challenges that arise on my journey. It gives me confidence and inspires hope for a wonderful future.

My passion for life serves to enhance my inner beauty even more. I think of life as a great adventure and each morning when I awake, I look forward with excitement to the adventures of the day.

When I decide to do something, I do it full force! No wishy-washy, half-baked efforts for me!

Today, I intend to take action toward my goals with gusto and do what I can to bring a little more good to the world along the way.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I feel confident that my inner beauty shines out upon the world for all to see?

2. What special qualities make up my inner beauty?

3. How can I become more of a force for good?

AFFIRMATIONS

I follow my instincts. 

In order to live an enjoyable and rewarding life, I pay attention to my feelings and respond to them accordingly. In every situation, I notice my emotions and what they tell me I should do. Then, I follow those messages through my actions. 

I am glad that I listen to my own heartfelt emotions. 

An important element of feeling proud of myself is recognizing my own "smarts." Listening to my gut and following through with what I believe is the right thing to do shows intelligence.

After all, my experiences throughout life are found deep within me. Those experiences are incorporated into who I am as a human being. So, I listen to my thoughts and feelings because they spring from my collective knowledge and experience.

Sometimes, I find it necessary to disagree with others. I can express my own opinion and intentions to others without distress. I know that all I need do is look within myself to find the best way for me. 

It feels good to be so sure of my own thoughts and feelings. My instincts are there for me, regardless of the situation.

Today, I know I can stay in touch with my instincts and follow their advice in my everyday life. My instincts consistently keep me safe and strong and motivate me to make the best decisions. I trust my gut to get me through any challenge.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I pay attention to my own thoughts and feelings?

2. Am I able to trust my instincts? If not, why not?

3. How can I start affording more trust to these inner feelings?